I don't mean to start this post in a dreary fashion, but nonetheless, here I go.
In case you have yet to look at the calendar on your phone or computer or some other device within reach, today is February 16, 2014. The symbolism of today is that two years ago exactly, we found out we were losing our first child in miscarriage.
Way to be Debbie Downer, huh?!
Well, for your sake, I can tell you this post will get better.
Unbeknownst to us, we were just taking our first - and unwilling - steps into a very real pit of life where we stayed for nearly two years.
Here is where it gets better:
I feel that it should be easy to spit these words out, but there is just so much tied to them that I couldn't possibly just get straight to the point. I hope at this stage in my blogging journey, you the reader have become fond of my innate ability to talk and talk and talk (or in my case, write and write and write). If you haven't; Welp... all I can say is, be glad you are only reading my words instead of having a face-to-face conversation with me. I feel confident my loved ones would easily tell you I like to talk! But I digress...
I have yearned to speak these words for what feels like much longer than two years. I have hoped these words would come true in our lives. And, I feared I would never be able to attach them to my story. Alas, God is bigger. He is sovereign over my yearning, hopes, and fears. And He is faithful, painfully and overwhelmingly so that thinking of His commitment to the promises spoken over our lives gives me the sensation my heart might explode! He has been faithful in pursuing my heart, begging me to remain focused on His perfected Love in an attempt to keep the desires placed within me pure. He has been faithful to lead us through the pit with patience as we cautiously took most steps, and He has been faithful in honoring our obedience on the rare occasion we stepped forward willingly and excitedly.
Just as quickly as we entered that pit, God held our hands as He led us out of it.
On December 22, 2013, we saw what we have been praying for for over two years: TWO PINK LINES. God's whisper in that moment and the moments following, "I am faithful".
On December 23, bloodwork confirmed more than our pregnancy; it confirmed His faithfulness.
On January 7, 2014, the tiny fluttering of a developing heart rendered us breathless. Tears flowing, we marveled at His love and creation.
Faithful.
On January 17, we heard with our ears the fierceness of life within, strong like the galloping of horses feet.
Faithful.
On February 3, we saw with our eyes the tiny body - 3.15 centimeters from the top of Baby's head to it's bottom - wiggling and moving around with ease in the womb.
Can you see it? Feel it?
Faithful!
So, so faithful.
We are beyond joyful! We are praising God. We are in absolute awe that the hands of our loving Father are in my womb, shaping, molding and leaving fingerprints all over this precious life that we fall deeper in love with every day. This is God's child that He is giving to us to be ours! We are humbled, and incredibly, incredibly thankful to receive His beautiful gift.
It is only fitting that on the second anniversary of a day shrouded in pain and loss would God allow me to reach my third month of pregnancy.
And lest I forget - God has honored our prayers, specifically allowing me to be the Shunammite woman (2 Kings 4:8-17). In just a few months, on Mother's Day, I will be able to hold our child while baby grows within me. It is too much to bear, this love, this goodness, this precious life!
To God be the glory. To God be the praise.
Thank you, Jesus, for the work You are doing. We praise You!
